Body Language: What Do Your Hands Say About You

Article by Mary Kovach Ph.D.

Nonverbal communication is considered both the spoken and written word. The way you hold your hands in a conversation reveals more about your intention than you realize.

Let’s say I walked into a classroom three different times and introduced myself the exact same way each time: “Hi, I’m Dr. K – The Management Professor,” but my body movements, particularly how I used my hands, changed. The first time, my palms faced the ceiling and were open to the class. The second time, my palms faced downward or away from me. The third time, using the exact same words, my finger pointed at the class.

If I generalized a study by Allan and Barbara Pease and applied it to this scenario, it would demonstrate that a majority of the class would look upon my introduction with my palms up as favorable. Only about half of the class would view my palms-down delivery as positive. A little more than 25 percent of the class would view my introduction and pointed finger as a good sign. My point is that body language, specifically how you position your hands, can leave an unintentional impression when you aren’t aware of how it can be perceived.

Historically, showing your open palms meant that you didn’t possess a weapon. Now when you show your hands, it shows you are open and submissive. It’s a “yes” gesture and is inviting. Think about a time when you were so excited that you jumped for joy. Your hands were open and your palms were facing the sky. If you jumped for joy and intentionally put your palms down, it would feel weird. Your natural body language should match how you feel. When the two conflict, you feel uncomfortable...and others watching you do, too.

Showing your palm to someone when you are conversing is an authoritative hand position. You may be saying, “Hold on,” but it’s still a directive. It could also be used as an uninviting gesture. When a speaker is using that gesture, they are likely talking at you, rather than with you.

In general, pointing at someone isn’t a good idea. It’s an aggressive hand position-dominating and authoritative. Think of a parent disciplining a child, or someone laughing at you.

Hand positions during conversation in a romantic relationship also have significant meaning. What do you think when you see two people holding hands? The dominant person within the couple will have his or her hand on top, facing outwards. Think of an adult walking a child across the street. The adult’s hand is on top, in control of the situation. The child’s hand is palm up, in a submissive position. The person who “wears the pants” in a romantic relationship, or is in the responsible position, most often maintains the top with the submissive person’s hand underneath.

Humans communicate in many ways, including nonverbally. How is your nonverbal communication perceived? Make an effort to be more self-aware with the ways you use your hands. You’ll better understand the words of what others are saying, and understand how they are communicating the message. Is it with authority...or with an open mind?

Open palms, and open minds...are usually very good things to have on display.

Dr. Mary Kovach spent 15 years in Fortune 500 organizations managing multi-million dollar global business units. She also has her MBA, LEAN Six Sigma Black Belt certification, and multiple Agile certifications. Currently, she is an Associate Professor at Miami University, teaching business management courses with numerous publications.